boutique, Browngirlswhoblog, Child loss, Grief, lifestyle, loss

PTS: Day 2/ Lauren’s Birthday

Warning: this post may trigger someone who has loss a child.

November 6, 2015 approximately 0200 hrs, Tripler Army Medical Center, Honolulu, HI

I’m laying in my hospital bed shivering, Ebony is sitting in a chair in my left side…Kisha on my right.

Me: ” What is that awful SMELL?”

The smell was loud and foul… I’ve never smelled anything that had been dead for a while but it sure smelt like what I would image death to smell like.

Kisha: “I was going to ask you the same thing!”

Me: “Did you pass gas?”

Kisha: “No, I thought it was you!”

Me: “Ebony is it you?!”

Ebony: “absolutely not!”

Me: ” can you make sure I hadn’t shit myself and don’t know it”

Ebony stands up to life the sheet to check.

I was given an epidural 40 minutes before hand because I was told I would have to deliver Lauren.

Ebony lifted the white hospital sheet and immediately put it down.

Ebony: ” I’ll be right back.”

She leaves the room and returns with the Dr. And the nurse.

The Dr. Lifts the sheet and motions for the nurse to see what’s under the cover.

Me: whaatt (teeth chatter) happened (teeth chatter)

Dr. “You delivered your baby.”

Me: shocked WHAT?!

Dr: “You didn’t feel yourself delivering her?”

Me: “NO!”

Y’all I shaking so hard, trying to stay warm, that my body had rejected my baby and I didn’t feel a contraction, a didn’t push, without notice she was evicted from my womb.

The machines I was connected to started beeping like crazy and I remember them saying, “We have to get her stable!” They were talking about me. I don’t remember exactly what they are stabilizing but I do remember going in and out of consciousness, shivering, teeth chatter, trying to get warm.

The Dr and nurse removed Lauren from under the covers and I the Dr. held her. “Shes beautiful.” I remember everyone saying.

*I’m crying as I write this*

Dr.” Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?”

With tears falling from my eyes I nod yes and was handed scissors that would sever our physical attachment… Forever.

Lauren was placed in my arms… She’s warm. She’s beautiful. Curly hair. Red Lips that won’t close.

I count her toes.

I kiss her forehead.

My head falls back as my neck could no longer support it during a shiver attack.

I lose consciousness.

The nurse takes her out of my arms to measure her… Weigh her lifeless body.

They call in an organization that takes pictures and capture moments of you with your angel baby.

I don’t remember the details as they were trying to stabilize me. They started an antibiotic drip and pushed some more meds.

I did not get a chance to spend quality time with Lauren because the state of my health and life were undetermined.

They take her to the morgue.

I’m wheeled to a step down unit just incase I code and require immediate attention.

Kisha leaves for work.

Ebony leaves to take Shalanda’s place with Kaileb and Laila to get them and Jurnee ready for school.

I sit in the step down unit… Catatonic…Just staring into space, moving in and out of consciousness like the waves at Bellows beach. Waiting for a sign that God has heard my prayer… That one of my relatives met Lauren at the gates of heaven… A sign of hope, sign that she’s at peace…

I just need a sign…

AfroWaiian Clothing Boutique, boutique, Browngirlswhoblog, lifestyle

TERMS

Let your own conditions how the world deals with you.

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And let your own words be how the world describes you.

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Live your life in your own terms

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Define success by your own terms

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Demand to be loved on your terms

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But wear designer fits by @alohaglamour

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#Alohaglamsquad #alohaglam #plussizeinfluencer #plussizefashion #curvystyle #plussizeinspiration #plussizeblogger #plusfashion #plussizeclothing #fullfigurecurved #curvythick #fatfine #honormycurves #celebratemysize #africanboutique #needit #churchfashion #proverbs #womensfashionista #churchflow #ootd #godlywoman #womanoffaith #churchgirl #woman #godlywomen #shopping #dress #modest

lifestyle

Being a woman is hard AF!!!

No boobs?! Buy some.

Short?! Just wear heels.

Tall for a woman?! Wear flats, ESPECIALLY, if you have a man that’s shorter than you.

Gain weight?! Go to Mexico and have surgery that just may kill you.

Your husband cheats on you?! Oh honey, that’s your fault because you’ve LET YOURSELF GO!

Chhhiiilllleeeee I tried my best to hold my tongue about the whole Lela Roshon scandal because I’ve been in her shoes… Both of them!

My husband, now ex-husband (Won’t he do it!), cheated on me AND I gained weight!!!

Just because a woman goes up a couple of dress sizes, DOES NOT give you the ok to body shame her because life happens and I’m sure your weight hasn’t been the same since you came into this world.

I remember when I returned to my home state of Mississippi after having traveled the world for the past 12 years due to the Air Force.

What people focused on the most upon seeing me was the fact that I’ve gained weight since the last time they’d seen me.

Unbeknownst to them…. I was just six months pregnant, two months ago, and I had lost my daughter.

I only returned home to heal and be around family; but all they could focus on was the by-product of my grief, hypothyroidism, and low vitamin D… My fatness.

This is why Aloha Glamour is AGAINST body shaming! This is why most of Aloha Glamour’s garments have an elastic waist band so you can gain or lose weight without worrying about IF your clothing will fit. (It saves you a lot of money too, btw)

But let me tell you what we not gone do! No longer will we body shame someone we’ve not seen in a while because we don’t know the private battles or illnesses they are battling.

I understand that a lot of women don’t know how to dress their body type because they don’t understand their body type.

If you’re that woman… You need our guide… You can find it here: http://www.alohaglamour.com

Let’s change the narrative!

Just say no to body shaming!

Like.

Comment and let me know how you feel about the whole situation.

Share this with your friends and family and let them know that we will not stand for this!

Peace, Love, and Glamour

Lexii🍍

Shop: http://www.alohaglamour.shop

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AfroWaiian Clothing Boutique, boutique, Browngirlswhoblog, Child loss, lifestyle

Just keep pushing

You fall, you rise, you make mistakes, you live, you learn. You are human, not perfect.

You have been hurt, but you are alive-to breathe, to think, to enjoy, and to chase the things you love.

Sometimes there is a sadness in our journey, but there is also lots of beauty.

We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we hurt, for we will never know what is waiting for us around the bend. 💖

Shirt: Torrid

Skirt: Aloha Glamour

AfroWaiian Clothing Boutique, boutique, Browngirlswhoblog, lifestyle

Throwback Thursday

December 6, 2017-

I remember when I told people in 2017 that I wanted to start a business selling Hawaiian Pa’u Skirts and they would look at me with a side eye. When I told them I wanted to name it Aloha Glamour, they laughed.

I didn’t sell my first skirt until I had been in business for about 2 months. I became discouraged.

Making a one skirt sell a month was monumental for me… It was my goal.

Although I was discouraged I continued to push… With a smile on my face.

I had a team who believed in me and my brand.

My first vendor show was with the @msnaturalhairexpo and I sold more than half of my inventory😍. Talk about an aha moment! One skirt a month sale turned into 10-15 a month and I know that’s by the grace of God.

I thank everyone who has accompanied me on this journey.

I thank those who doubted me. I thank ALL of my Glamfriends who continue to invest and pour into our brand. @alohaglamourcouture is what it is because of you😍 2018 will only get better!!!! Are you ready? I am😉

Wow, looking back on 2018 we grossed $17,000. So far this year we have double… Almost tripled those numbers😍. I look forward to what 2019 has to offer us.

Are you ready? We are!!!

lifestyle

For The Culture

Just as open as this window is, so should your wardrobe be. Never force yourself into one style. Explore. Experiment. Be Extra!

I overheard this kid from church whisper to his mom on Sunday, is it “African Day?” He asked because I was wearing a Maxi skirt (pictured below) from Aloha Glamour and ShanitaGerry ShanitaGerry had on her Palazzo Pants from Aloha Glamour as well.

I leaned in and assured him that fashion is what you make it and you can wear print and color outside of what others seem as the appropriate time… The “time” that I am referring to is Black History Month or for a “Wakanda Themed” Party.

I then questioned if we have become so numb to who we are that we are ashamed to wear colors or prints that represent our heritage year round?

Do you feel as if you are only comfortable with wearing prints during the month of February?

I must admit, I was a little skeptical of being different at first. It can be uncomfortable to have all eyes on you because of what you’re wearing, but it can also be freeing.

We are born to stand out and not just during Black History Month.

I AM black history month! I will not limit my cultural expression to one month out of the year because that’s when everyone else decides they want to embrace or flaunt their culture. I do this for the culture! I AM the culture. The results of the run-off elections in the state of Mississippi should make YOU want to represent your culture even more!

So I ask, are you ready to live your life in color or will you remain in the shadows?

Explore. Experiment. Be Extra!