boutique, Browngirlswhoblog, Child loss, Grief, lifestyle, loss

PTS: Day 2/ Lauren’s Birthday

Warning: this post may trigger someone who has loss a child.

November 6, 2015 approximately 0200 hrs, Tripler Army Medical Center, Honolulu, HI

I’m laying in my hospital bed shivering, Ebony is sitting in a chair in my left side…Kisha on my right.

Me: ” What is that awful SMELL?”

The smell was loud and foul… I’ve never smelled anything that had been dead for a while but it sure smelt like what I would image death to smell like.

Kisha: “I was going to ask you the same thing!”

Me: “Did you pass gas?”

Kisha: “No, I thought it was you!”

Me: “Ebony is it you?!”

Ebony: “absolutely not!”

Me: ” can you make sure I hadn’t shit myself and don’t know it”

Ebony stands up to life the sheet to check.

I was given an epidural 40 minutes before hand because I was told I would have to deliver Lauren.

Ebony lifted the white hospital sheet and immediately put it down.

Ebony: ” I’ll be right back.”

She leaves the room and returns with the Dr. And the nurse.

The Dr. Lifts the sheet and motions for the nurse to see what’s under the cover.

Me: whaatt (teeth chatter) happened (teeth chatter)

Dr. “You delivered your baby.”

Me: shocked WHAT?!

Dr: “You didn’t feel yourself delivering her?”

Me: “NO!”

Y’all I shaking so hard, trying to stay warm, that my body had rejected my baby and I didn’t feel a contraction, a didn’t push, without notice she was evicted from my womb.

The machines I was connected to started beeping like crazy and I remember them saying, “We have to get her stable!” They were talking about me. I don’t remember exactly what they are stabilizing but I do remember going in and out of consciousness, shivering, teeth chatter, trying to get warm.

The Dr and nurse removed Lauren from under the covers and I the Dr. held her. “Shes beautiful.” I remember everyone saying.

*I’m crying as I write this*

Dr.” Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?”

With tears falling from my eyes I nod yes and was handed scissors that would sever our physical attachment… Forever.

Lauren was placed in my arms… She’s warm. She’s beautiful. Curly hair. Red Lips that won’t close.

I count her toes.

I kiss her forehead.

My head falls back as my neck could no longer support it during a shiver attack.

I lose consciousness.

The nurse takes her out of my arms to measure her… Weigh her lifeless body.

They call in an organization that takes pictures and capture moments of you with your angel baby.

I don’t remember the details as they were trying to stabilize me. They started an antibiotic drip and pushed some more meds.

I did not get a chance to spend quality time with Lauren because the state of my health and life were undetermined.

They take her to the morgue.

I’m wheeled to a step down unit just incase I code and require immediate attention.

Kisha leaves for work.

Ebony leaves to take Shalanda’s place with Kaileb and Laila to get them and Jurnee ready for school.

I sit in the step down unit… Catatonic…Just staring into space, moving in and out of consciousness like the waves at Bellows beach. Waiting for a sign that God has heard my prayer… That one of my relatives met Lauren at the gates of heaven… A sign of hope, sign that she’s at peace…

I just need a sign…

AfroWaiian Clothing Boutique, boutique, Browngirlswhoblog, Grief, lifestyle, loss

Confirmation

Have you ever met someone and felt like God was using them to deliver the confirmation about all of the things he’s been whispering into your spirit?

I’ve been so overwhelmed with emotion for the past few days because I connected with a woman by the name of Mahogany that I met on Facebook.

We connected because she made a post about feeling “stuck” in life and I could sooooooo relate.

Since losing Lauren I’ve had the idea about hosting and throwing an Annual Baby Shower for women who may not have the means for one, to honor and celebrate them as new and or seasoned mother’s.

You see, Lauren died a week and a half after her baby shower so I felt it fitting that this type of event would be the most appropriate considering the circumstances.

Anyway, Mahogany didn’t know anything about me or those plans and she spoke some things about and into my life and I KNEW it was nothing BUT GOD using her.

I said all of this to say that I am happy to announce my plans for creating The Lauren Taylor Foundation and I am excited about the events we will bring to the community and the platform this foundation will create.💕

AfroWaiian Clothing Boutique, boutique, Browngirlswhoblog, lifestyle

TERMS

Let your own conditions how the world deals with you.

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And let your own words be how the world describes you.

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Live your life in your own terms

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Define success by your own terms

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Demand to be loved on your terms

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But wear designer fits by @alohaglamour

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#Alohaglamsquad #alohaglam #plussizeinfluencer #plussizefashion #curvystyle #plussizeinspiration #plussizeblogger #plusfashion #plussizeclothing #fullfigurecurved #curvythick #fatfine #honormycurves #celebratemysize #africanboutique #needit #churchfashion #proverbs #womensfashionista #churchflow #ootd #godlywoman #womanoffaith #churchgirl #woman #godlywomen #shopping #dress #modest

AfroWaiian Clothing Boutique, boutique, Browngirlswhoblog, Child loss, lifestyle

Just keep pushing

You fall, you rise, you make mistakes, you live, you learn. You are human, not perfect.

You have been hurt, but you are alive-to breathe, to think, to enjoy, and to chase the things you love.

Sometimes there is a sadness in our journey, but there is also lots of beauty.

We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we hurt, for we will never know what is waiting for us around the bend. 💖

Shirt: Torrid

Skirt: Aloha Glamour

AfroWaiian Clothing Boutique, boutique, Browngirlswhoblog, Child loss, Grief

Live Your Life In Color

Owning your story is the bravest thing you will ever do!

This is the photo that started @alohaglamour.

I PCS’d two months after my daughter, Lauren Taylor, died and PCS’d to Biloxi, MS.

The 1st year after my loss I lived my life in black and white… Just going through the motions of adulting. Until I traveled back to Hawaii to celebrate her 1st birthday. This photo was taken on Lauren Taylor’s, first birthday at Bellows AirForce Base in Hawaii🌺.

Tell me what’s the first thing you see when you look at it?

COLOR!!!!

The Air Force teaches us a LOT of principles/ techniques, one of which is how to be resilient. How to bounce back when it seems as of the odds are against you…when you feel like you are surrounded by darkness.

I’ve heard it says that the greatest loss a parent can feel is the loss of a child. It doesn’t just change you, it demolishes you. That is true. The rest of your life is spent on another level and because of that I thank God for resiliency.

Here’s to living the rest of my life in color!!!

Will you join the movement?

https://www.alohaglamour.shop

AfroWaiian Clothing Boutique, boutique, Browngirlswhoblog, lifestyle

Throwback Thursday

December 6, 2017-

I remember when I told people in 2017 that I wanted to start a business selling Hawaiian Pa’u Skirts and they would look at me with a side eye. When I told them I wanted to name it Aloha Glamour, they laughed.

I didn’t sell my first skirt until I had been in business for about 2 months. I became discouraged.

Making a one skirt sell a month was monumental for me… It was my goal.

Although I was discouraged I continued to push… With a smile on my face.

I had a team who believed in me and my brand.

My first vendor show was with the @msnaturalhairexpo and I sold more than half of my inventory😍. Talk about an aha moment! One skirt a month sale turned into 10-15 a month and I know that’s by the grace of God.

I thank everyone who has accompanied me on this journey.

I thank those who doubted me. I thank ALL of my Glamfriends who continue to invest and pour into our brand. @alohaglamourcouture is what it is because of you😍 2018 will only get better!!!! Are you ready? I am😉

Wow, looking back on 2018 we grossed $17,000. So far this year we have double… Almost tripled those numbers😍. I look forward to what 2019 has to offer us.

Are you ready? We are!!!